Sometimes What We Call Derailment, God Calls Direction
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Have you ever imagined a life only to have it completely changed by chronic illness? I have.
Dreams, plans, ambitions—at one time or another, all feel like they’ve been taken away. But sometimes what feels like derailment is actually God’s gentle direction, reshaping us for a purpose greater than we could imagine.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” – Proverbs 19:21
A Life Almost as Planned
Recently, over lunch with a dear sister in Christ, she said, “You would have been such a good lawyer.” I cannot say how many times I’ve heard that comment throughout my life.
I was “raised” for a legal career from a very early age. My father’s best friend—who was truly like extended family—took an active role in mentoring me. He was a judge, and his influence on my life was significant—it was simply understood that I would become a lawyer and, one day, follow in his footsteps and become a judge myself.
Whenever this conversation surfaces, there is always a bittersweet feeling. My mind drifts back to my love for debate, my God-given ability for sharp analysis, and the younger version of myself who dreamed of becoming a high-powered attorney and eventually sitting on the bench.
But through a series of events—including a lifetime of chronic illness beginning at 10 years old—that path was not to be. And each time my mind reassesses the loss of my early years, God brings to mind:
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” – Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)
A Surprising Peace
As my friend and I talked, I heard myself say:
It was probably a good thing I didn’t get my way.
I had plans for my life. But circumstances, illness, and brokenness changed everything.
But if I’m honest with myself, had chronic illness not happened, the trajectory of my life might have led me to becoming a high-powered lawyer, but one who cared about little more than winning. Empathy, compassion, love—and perhaps even God—might not have been part of the equation.
That’s not to say the Lord couldn’t have reached me on that path. But I know who I was back then. In my younger years, I likely would have been Attila the Hun.
Sometimes I still imagine what that life might have been like, and a small tinge of regret appears. But then I remember Romans 8:28:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
This verse describes my life in countless ways—I imagine, you have also seen Him work all things for your good, too.
How Chronic Illness Changed Me
The outer shell I sometimes look back on with a sense of nostalgia—the impressive career, the worldly success—might have left me exactly that: a shell of a person, consumed with my own ambition and ego.
Instead, the Lord allowed chronic pain, illness, and humbling circumstances to shape me in ways I never could have imagined. Somehow, through it all, He softened my heart.
Chronic illness changed the direction of my life—but more importantly, it changed my heart.
A Word to Those Walking This Road
And that makes me think about so many of you walking this road as well.
What about you?
- What were you “supposed” to become before chronic illness entered your life?
- What plans did you have that were suddenly interrupted or completely derailed?
- What conversations or memories still bring a tinge of regret when they surface?
- What dreams or plans did chronic illness interrupt in your life? Have you ever been able to see ways God has used those painful detours to shape your heart or redirect your path?
It’s easy to focus on how chronic illness robs us of the lives we imagined—the careers we planned, the energy we once had, the independence we assumed would always be there.
But often God does something unexpected in the middle of our suffering.
Sometimes the very thing that feels like it has taken so much from us becomes the place where God begins shaping something deeper within us—humility, compassion, dependence on Him, and a heart that understands the suffering of others.
For many of us walking this road together, chronic illness didn’t just change our plans. It changed who we are becoming in Christ.
If you are struggling or suffering today, if you feel the tinge of regret over the many losses you’ve experienced because of chronic illness, take heart. You are not alone—and this is not the end of your story. Life moves in seasons that ebb and flow, but God remains constant; He never leaves us nor forsakes us. Hold on to the hope that endures—in Christ and with the fellow believers who are walking this journey of chronic illness alongside you.
No matter how ill we can be, or how long our lives are riddled with sickness, we can rest on His promises — we can never be separated from His love (Romans 8:38-39), He will never leave nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) and He always remains the stronghold of our lives (Psalm 27:1).
Even in the midst of loss, regret, and unexpected detours, God is present, working all things together for your good and His glory. What feels like derailment may be the very path He is using to shape your heart, deepen your faith, and prepare you for the life only you can fulfill.
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David Heflin
David Heflin is the founder, former president, and current executive director for Broken and Mended. He is married to Katie and has three kids. David was a preacher for over 20 years until he stepped down to focus fully on the mission of Broken and Mended. He started Broken and Mended in 2018 after being inspired by his own battle with chronic pain to connect other hurting people to Jesus and each other. David has a B.A. in Bible from Oklahoma Christian University and a Master of Arts in Religion from Azusa Pacific University. He resides in Woodward, OK.
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